more like the trees and less like the clouds

listening to: "evergreen" - ryan adams and the cardinals

Today I had the day off from both jobs, a rarity and a mixed blessing. I spent the morning babysitting an eighteen-month old and a four year old, taking my dad to the airport (he's flying to Istanbul right now), and coaxing free shots of espresso out of my friends at corporate coffee, inc. I cleaned the hell out of my room this afternoon and have collected a football-sized ball of dust from the corners of the walls, the top of my paintings, and the blades of my fan. No joke. It's no wonder I've had this cough for months now-- I've been inhaling gobs of dust in my bed. I thought I must have been smoking weed in my sleep or something, what with all the waking up with dry-mouth. Seriously. Anyhow, my room is clean now, and all of my clothes have now moved from the floor of the bedroom to the floor of the closet. Which does not bother me in the slightest. And I found my knitting. :)

all you can do is do what you must

listening to: "buckets of rain" - bob dylan

it seems like time has been muddied over the past year and a half. one year ago i was in oregon and in this particular moment, i can't even think about it. a year ago. and i've been out of school for a year and a half. unfathomable. f'ing unfathomable.

these days, i'm so tired. tired all the time, tired. i've been working these insane seventy-hour work weeks and i am just so exhausted. i can't see my friends, i can't see my family, i rarely see mike. and my god, i am bored. i am so bored. i need a trip, i need to sleep more than four hours at a time, i need to meet people, i need to go out. oh my god i am bored and i am boring and i am working so much and i am not doing anything.

how do you move past this place?